How Is it to Have a Bad Credit Reputation II

I feel restless today. I have been out. I rode my brother's mountain bike to the streets. It's so bad my CSC ID wont be accepted so that I can get my money at Western Union. It is my payment for the google earnings. Anyway, maybe it's not the only reason why i feel restless. I dont mountain bike usually. but this time i had to. I've been mountain biking when i will have to buy my viand for lunch. I had to.I've been wishing for a car and now all I have is a mountain bike which i lent from my older brother.

In December 2004, I lent some money from DBP ( a 6-month salary loan for my management analyst job in the provincial government) in order to buy a second hand car. That time i was taking my Masterals in Diliman, and everyday i had to walk for 15 minutes from the UP Checkpoint to the NCPAG buiding in SOLAIR area. That was stressfull for me since i had to wake up 5 am everyday to report for a 7 am work in the government of Bulacan, and then left 3pm from office to commute for another two hours from Malolos City to Quezon City. I really needed a private mode of transportation because I run out of breath with my then daily lifestyle. I atended classes until 9 pm in the evening. Sometimes because of tiredness, i will sleep unintentionally in my MPA class. I was glad my teachers would just let me. because they know I am working and commuting daily from Bulacan. I thought if i have a personal vehicle, life would be convenient. So i decided to buy. However, the cheapest second hand car then is a 150,000 worth of Toyota Lancer. So the money from DBP wasn't enough. My mom would not want me to buy a car. The more that I became aggressive in my plan. I was a rebel child. I just wanted my convenience. Life was hard for me. So I decided to deposit the money in another account. a cooperative saving account. I joined the cooperative and i got my first deposit account for them. i deposited the 60,0000 plus net loan from DBP (DBP collected interest worth 12,000) so that I can loan three times its value. I attended a membership seminar and i learned that the maximum loan the Coop could give me is three times the collateral deposited. I underwent another CI in the office in Malolos City. I was dismayed when what was "only" approved was P50,000 of loan.

As i recall it now, I knew I had a decision-making mistake in my finance. It was carelessness in my part. My mind was crowded of worries and pressure. Paying for the water bills, giving allowance to my siblings who were schooling in college, my mother's incapability to understand my needs...

I had no record exactly of how i consumed the money. It was almost 110,000 pesos. I only could remember that there were points in the past that I would withdraw few hundreds from my deposits to buy few clothes for myself, withdraw few thousands to augment to my masters tuition fee, and few hundreds to give allowance to mheng and rex, and another thousands for the house expenses. I have an elder brother but he was taking up law. Now he was done with the juris doctor degree from Ateneo. The money did not disappear instantly because i am not a money waster. In fact i would describe myself a spend thrift. Maybe what happened then was i got too depressed hence losing my rationality. I remember I often was crying during the nights. i would arrive home tired. And would find them watching TV when i came home. There was not even a food offered to me. And that was the reason of my crying.

That depression would continue until the turn of the year. As other like-minded gal like me, i would not lose my optimism in spite of my depression. I achieved a lot at that young age, i must never give up.